A little boy wanted $100 very badly; his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed for two weeks but nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100. When the post office received the letter addressed to God, they opened it and decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy $5. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you letter to God, which read as follows;

                                                        Dear God,

Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, those thieving bastards deducted $95.

Moral Dilemma

Consider this situation. You are driving along on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, where you see three people waiting:

1. An elderly woman who is about to die.  2. An old friend who once saved your life.  3. The perfect mate you've been dreaming about.

Who would you choose, knowing there could only be one passenger in your car? Should you save the elderly woman or take the old friend because he once saved your life? You may never find your perfect dream lover again!

This quiz was given to 200 applicants for a single job. The one who was hired responded:

"I would give the car keys to my friend and let him take the elderly woman to the hospital. Then I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him. "Honey, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Freeway 101. Please be careful!"

"Heck," he said, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

We telemarketers know we're universally hated. Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.

One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr. Morgan. The woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at that address, but she did have a number where he could be reached.

I thanked her, rang that number and was greeted with, "Good morning, Highland View Cemetery."